


When It Rains

by wallflowerchronicles



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Age Swap, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Age Changes, First Time, M/M, Meteorology, Second Chances, Severe weather, blowjob lessons
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-02
Updated: 2016-11-02
Packaged: 2018-08-28 08:29:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8438527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wallflowerchronicles/pseuds/wallflowerchronicles
Summary: Dan is a 22-year-old uni graduate who has thrown away his law degree and is trying to get his fledgling youtube channel off the ground. Phil is an 18-year-old aspiring meteorologist and a fan of Dan's videos. They meet online just before Phil takes his A levels. Dan is instantly attracted to Phil, but struggles with the ethical dilemma of dating a much younger fan.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This work was created as a part of the Phandom Big Bang 2016.
> 
> Thank you to [k-x-t-x-ae](http://k-x-t-x-ae.tumblr.com/) for betaing. And a huge, huge thank you to [gilove2dance](http://gilove2dance.tumblr.com/) for the additional editing help and for her wonderful art! You can view and reblog her sketch and a gif version of the art [here](http://gilove2dance.tumblr.com/post/152643540463/so-i-partook-in-the-phandom-big-bang-2016-and-this/). (Warning: flashing images)

 

It seems like adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up. Whenever Phil was asked this question as a child, he was never really sure how to answer. Sometimes he would say that he wanted to be an astronaut or a cowboy, even though from a relatively young age, he knew better than that. Martyn always had a straightforward, mostly realistic answer: he wanted to be a DJ. And Phil’s brother has stuck with that answer even into early adulthood.

Around the age of 12, Phil was watching the morning weather report before school one day and decided that being a weatherman sounded like a pretty good job. He asked his parents and his teachers what he needed to do to become a meteorologist. The resounding answer was that he needed to do very well in maths. It had never been his best subject, but he was determined enough to give it a try and stubborn enough to not give up easily.

In the end, maths was the easy part. What no one told him until he was a bit older was that meteorology not only required top marks in maths, but also in physics. Phil took to maths fairly quickly. There was serenity in the order and logic, in knowing that at the end of the problem, there was going to be one correct answer. There were no shades of gray like with other subjects such as literature or art. Physics started out the same way, except that it was all word problems, which were Phil’s least favorite sort of question.

And now at A level, physics has gotten all the more complicated. It turns out that the rules that govern the behavior of larger, tangible objects simply don’t apply to things on the quantum level and vice versa. The details make even less sense.

Phil’s the sort of person that has to visualize the setup of the problem before he can apply calculus to it. It’s simple when the question is asking about water flowing through a pipe or even a ball being launched from a cannon. Things become more complicated, however, when the problem involves several different cylinders with different masses and different diameters all rolling down a hill. When is that ever going to happen in meteorology? But Phil has to know these things for his exams.

Which is why Phil should be studying right now. He really should be, because physics is without a doubt going to be the death of him. But it’s Friday night, and even if he doesn’t have any plans to go out, he just can’t force himself to actually be productive. So naturally, he finds himself watching videos on the internet.

He checks for any updates from the storm chasers that he follows, but finds nothing. It’s only early April, so tornado season is just starting. Phil’s probably seen every existing tornado video on Youtube at least twice, so he decides to look for something different. Though there are no new weather videos in his subscription box, there is an update from one of the comedy vloggers that he’s subscribed to.

Dan, aka danisnotonfire, is one of those people that almost always wear black and look damn good in it too. Dan posts slightly provocative dailybooth photos, and sometimes he wears these black stud earrings that make his slightly edgy fringed haircut look all the more punk. He’s the sort of person that Phil could easily imagine chain smoking in an alley behind a pub at 2am looking for trouble.

But Dan isn’t really like that at all. He’s nerdy and socially awkward and makes hilarious videos ranting about life’s annoyances, telling stories about weird things that happen to him, or sometimes giving dubious advice. He graduated from uni almost a year ago, but he doesn’t seem to have done anything with his law degree. But he doesn’t really talk about it that often.

Phil’s been watching Dan’s videos for over a year now, and has seen him go from just over 10,000 subscribers to almost 75,000. His success is certainly a credit to his witty and relatable personality, but Phil would be lying if he said that Dan’s personality was why he’d started watching him. Truth be told, Dan is quite attractive. He has dark brown hair that is short in the back, but has a long side fringe in the front. It’s edgy and cool in all of the ways that Phil’s long, reddish brown hair is not. Dan also has these delicious chocolaty brown eyes that a person could easily get lost in. Suffice it to say that Dan is one of the reasons Phil knows he’s not straight.

In this newest video, Dan’s telling a story about how he did something awkward on public transportation, and he just happens to mention that the incident occurred in Reading. Phil perks up instantly and replays that part of the video again just to make sure he heard correctly.

Reading. Home to the University of Reading, of course. Home to what is by far the best meteorology program in all of Britain. Which is the very reason why Phil ought to be studying for his upcoming physics A level.

The impulse is so overpowering that he’s already typed out the tweet before giving much thought to what he is actually doing.

     @danisnotonfire do you live in Reading?

Phil realizes how creepy that must seem out of context, and cringes at his own stupidity. He considers deleting it, but decides that there’s no one on twitter that he’s exactly trying to impress. Except maybe Dan, but the chances that he will even see that tweet among the thousands of others he probably receives on a daily basis are slim at best.

And that’s when the notification pops up saying that @danisnotonfire is now following @AmazingPhil.

Phil decides that he must be dreaming. Or possibly hallucinating. That might actually be more likely considering the amount of sleep he hasn’t been getting lately.

And then the DM pops up.

     do YOU live in reading?

 _This can’t be happening. This can’t be real_ , Phil thinks. After a few moments of pure panic, he realizes that he has to say something back.

     No, but I’m applying to uni there, and I was wondering what it’s like

 _Wondering what it’s like?_ He really needs to start thinking these things through properly before hitting send.

     damn, thought maybe you were flirting with me

Well, then. Phil wonders if his heart has stopped from the shock, or if maybe he’s already died and gone to heaven. It takes almost a minute for him to remember to breath again. It takes several more before he realizes that he needs to send a reply, and that it needs to be carefully crafted.

     That might also be part of it, yes

He’s quite proud of that one, actually.

     what are you applying to uni for?

Dan’s choice to change the subject throws Phil for a loop. Had the flirting comment just been a joke, then? Or maybe it wasn’t, but then he’d changed his mind.

     Meteorology

     ew

 _Ew? Ew! What am I supposed to say to THAT,_ Phil wonders.

     ???

     I mean, why?

That is a fairly complicated question, but Phil decides that a simple answer will do.

     Because weather is ace

     I mean, I guess if that’s really what you’re into. why reading?

Another complicated question, another simple answer.

     They have the best program in the country

     ambitious. and where do you live now?

Does this mean that they’re back to the flirting thing again? Why else would Dan want to know where he lives?

     Near Manchester

     no shit? that’s where I went to uni.

     Small world, I guess. Did you like uni?

     hated every fucking minute of it

_Oops._

     Oh, I’m sorry. Why did you stay if you hated it so much?

     because I thought I had to

     Oh

     in a lot of ways, higher education is bullshit. like, don’t let anyone tell you that you have to go to uni in order to be a        successful human

It’s good advice, in theory. But it doesn’t really apply to Phil.

     But I want to go to uni

     do you really though?

     … yes?

     well, good for you then

Phil really wants to ask this guy why he thinks he has the right to tell other people how to live their lives, but he also doesn’t want to risk Dan launching into another rant. Besides, maybe he really was trying to be helpful, in his own misguided way.

There’s clearly more to the story, and Phil is curious about what could have been so bad about the University of Manchester that Dan’s experience there that made him hate all of higher education with such a passion. But without continuing the conversation, he’s unlikely to ever find out. Dan has never spoken about his time at uni in his videos, other than in vague terms. But if it was really all that bad, Phil can understand why.

If this is what every interaction with a mildly well-known internet celebrity is like, then Phil thinks he’s had enough for one lifetime.

That is, until Phil wakes up the next day to another DM from Dan:

        anyways, I like you

        text me sometime

        07209 229187

~

Returning items to the shelves is by far Dan’s favorite task at work. When people return things or being something up to the register and then decide they don’t want it, these items get placed in a trolley behind the customer service counter. And then, periodically, someone has to return these items to their various homes throughout the store. Dan always volunteers for this job for several reasons:

  1. Pushing a trolley around the store makes you look like one of the shoppers, so they rarely bother you with silly questions that you don’t really know the answer to
  2. You can easily check your phone while completing this task without being caught
  3. None of the managers really pay attention to the person doing this job, so as long as you don’t really overdo it, you can casually walk around the store for quite some time before you’re missed



It really is the ideal way to break up a long, drudging Saturday shift.

As Dan walks around the store with his half empty trolley that he hasn’t removed an item from for a good five minutes, he finds himself thinking about Phil. That’s been a fairly regular occurrence ever since they started talking two months ago. As he’s making his way down the cereal aisle for the fourth time, he decides to text Phil, just so he’ll know that he was on Dan’s mind.

you’d look really good with black hair, you know

He’s not really expecting anything to come of this; it’s just a small little fantasy that’s been on his mind for the past week or so. Phil’s reply comes almost immediately.

        yeah?

        yeah ;-)

He adds the winky face, as if he wasn’t already being cheeky enough.

Dan makes it through his third slow-paced lap of the store without another reply from Phil. He finishes putting away all of the items on the fourth lap, and reluctantly returns to his normal duties.

No matter how bad working at the grocery store can be, Dan is thankful that he isn’t in the middle of his uni course anymore and that he isn’t working as a pathetic, low level lawyer in some awful cubicle somewhere. Sure, letting his degree go to waste is hard to swallow, but he’s determined to not live his life in a certain way just because it’s what is expected of him.

He isn’t able to check his phone again until his shift is over and he is on his way home. As he steps outside, he’s happy to see a text from Phil.

        Do you have skype? We should skype tonight.

Dan wonders where that came from. Up until now, they’ve only communicated via text and twitter. He’s thought about suggesting that they skype at some point, but he’s glad that Phil brought it up first.

        ok, looking forward to it

Later that evening while waiting for their call to connect, Dan realizes that he’s about to hear Phil’s voice for the first time. It’s strange that Phil already knows so much about Dan just from watching his videos, but Dan still has so much to learn about Phil. Skype finally loads, and a very pixilated Phil appears on his screen. Immediately, something seems off.

“Oh my god, is the lighting just really shitty or did you actually dye your hair black?” Dan asks, genuinely surprised. Phil smiles and nods. “Fucking hell, Phil, you look… well fit. Even more so than before.”

Phil blushes at that, and very quietly says, “Thanks.”

Sometimes Dan forgets that Phil is just a teenager, and how he can be so easily persuaded. He’s only 18, and Dan just turned 22. And Dan still can’t decide if that makes him kind of a creep or not. He tries not to think about it very often.

“Do _you_ like it?” he asks Phil. He’s being too quiet and it’s making Dan worried.

“Yeah, I do. You’re right; I think it suits me. At the very least, it’s way better than being vaguely ginger.” Phil’s voice is so Northern, or maybe Dan just forgot to expect that.

Phil runs his fingers through his hair, smoothing it down over his ears.

“Not that there’s anything wrong with being vaguely ginger,” Dan comments. He doesn’t want Phil to think that that was the motivation behind his suggestion. “You just look more edgy. More punk rock.”

“So you really like it?”

“Yeah, obviously.”

“Good. Since I wasn’t able to get you anything for your birthday, I thought this might be nice.”

Again, too easily persuaded. Too eager to please. Seriously, in what universe does dying your hair constitute a gift for someone else?

“That’s… you didn’t have to do that. I wasn’t asking you to. I was just making a suggestion.”

“I know. But it was a good suggestion, so I decided to follow it,” Phil says frankly.

“Are your parents okay with it? Or do they think I’m a bad influence?”

“Mum wasn’t terribly happy about it, but she agrees that it’s my hair and I can do whatever I want to it. And my dad just said that it’ll always grow back eventually.”

“I like your parents, they seem like reasonable people.”

“Yeah, they’re alright in my book.”

“So, if you really have nothing better to do with your time now that you’ve finished your exams, do you think that you might like to come visit me for a few days? We could meet up in Reading and I could show you around. I’m sure I could talk my parents into letting you stay over.”

“Really?” Phil asks, eyes wide in disbelief.

“Really. I want to meet you.”

“I’d like that,” Phil says. “Hold on, I’ll look for train tickets.” There’s a pause while Phil types. “Why now, though? Did seeing me in video form seal the deal for you, or was it the hair?”

“Not gonna lie, it is definitely nice to know that you’re for sure not some creepy 55-year-old bald man that’s just trying to take advantage of me or something.”

“Yeah, that is good. Am I different than you expected?” Phil asks.

“Not really, just very northern.”

“Well, yeah. And you’re very southern.”

“Yeah, but, you sound like an angry drunk person. I sound like the queen.” Dan says with a cheeky smile.

“Shut up,” Phil retorts. “Oh my god, these tickets are super cheap. What are you doing next Thursday?”

Dan looks at the sticky notes on his desk where he’s written his work schedule. “I’ll be released from Tesco hell at 3, and I’m off on Friday. And if you wanted to stay another day, I would always call in sick on Saturday.”

“That’s okay, I wouldn’t want you to get in trouble. I can be there late Thursday afternoon and leave Friday afternoon or evening. I’ll have to clear this with my parents, but I think they’ll be cool with it.”

“I can’t wait,” Dan says.

So that’s how Dan finds himself about a week later waiting for Phil in a mildly-crowded train station. He is a ball of anxiety and awkwardness. He gets there 15 minutes early, which is so unlike him. He searches for the best place to stand and wait, not wanting to be too close, but also not too far away. He wants to seem casual, of course. Because this is not a big deal. This is just two acquaintances meeting up to hang out for a few days. Nevermind that Dan finds this particular acquaintance to be incredibly attractive.

If anything, he’s doing Phil a favor. Agreeing to show him around Reading is more for Phil’s benefit, of course. Dan isn’t expecting anything to come of this. Because Phil is four years younger than him. Well, three and a half. But who’s counting? Certainly not Dan.

Phil’s train is due to arrive in two minutes. Dan is fidgeting, not sure what to do with his hands. He messes with his hair, trying to smooth down the sides while puffing up the top.

The train pulls in. Dan crosses his arms across his chest, and then decides at the last minute that this might make him look too aggressive or standoffish. He pushes his fringe away from his face and once again tries to smooth down the tips of his hair that are threatening to curl due to the heat.

Phil sees him before he sees Phil. When Dan spots him, he’s already bee-lining toward him with a huge grin on his face.

“Hi,” Dan says once Phil is near enough to hear him.

“Hi, Dan!” But Phil keeps coming closer, and all of a sudden he’s throwing his arms around Dan and hugging him tightly. Dan remains stiff and doesn’t return the embrace. “You’re real!” Phil exclaims once he lets go.

“So it seems,” Dan says, which he realizes sounds arrogant and hostile.

“I’m sorry, was that weird? I didn’t mean for it to be.”

“No, it’s okay, I was just caught off guard, that’s all.”

Dan blames snapping at Phil for no reason on the fact that Tesco had already drained away a bit of his soul that day, and decides that he needs caffeine. He suggests that they walk to the nearby Starbucks. They end up paying separately because they’re both too awkward to establish whether this constitutes a date or not. The barista calls out an iced caramel macchiato, and they both reach for it.

“Clearly you have good taste in coffee,” Dan says, gesturing for Phil to take the drink.

“Clearly you do, too.”

Once they both have their drinks, they decide to walk around the shops for a bit. It’s a cloudy, cool day, so the warm coffee cup feels nice in Dan’s hands.

“How was work?” Phil asks, clearly eager to break the silence.      

“Awful, as always.”

“I’m sorry,” Phil offers. “Any new acting prospects?” he asks after a moment of silence.

“Not really. They want me to come back for season 2 of that web series, but I think I already told you that.”

“Yeah, you did. That’ll be good though, right?”

“Anything’s better than trying and failing to be a lawyer.”

Phil nods understandingly, then pauses, thinking of what to say next. “If I’m prodding at a sore spot, you don’t have to answer, but why did you ever start a law course if you hate it so much?”

They haven’t really talked about this since their very first conversation. Considering how defensive Phil had been about his choice of uni course, Dan thinks that avoiding the topic for awhile has been for the best. Phil also hasn’t asked about Dan’s time at uni, perhaps for the same reason. No, since then they mostly talk about their day-to-day lives or things like music, video games, and movies that they have in common. But Dan knew that this conversation was inevitable, especially with Phil starting uni in the fall. He’d glad they waited to do this face to face, even though he’d rather not do it at all.

Dan sighs. “It’s complicated, but basically I decided around age 17 that I needed to give up on my frivolous acting dreams and choose a degree that would make me look… I don’t know, clever and employable, I guess? And I kept at it even though it was the worst thing ever because I’m stubborn and because no one ever told me that I could still be a successful human even if I dropped out.”

“You were never passionate about it? Never enjoyed it at all?”

“It had its moments, I guess. But no, not really. I wasn’t like you with your meteorology if that’s what you’re worried about. I might make this whole youtube thing seem glamorous sometimes, but trust me, if I liked law half as much as you like weather, I would have absolutely stuck with it.”

“That’s good to hear, I guess. I really am a bit obsessed with weather.” The genuine enthusiasm in Phil’s response is a bit scary.

“I get that, but Phil, you live in the most meteorologically boring country in the world, you do realize that, right?”

Phil laughs, because that’s exactly the point. “Well, if I get into Reading, they have a program where you go to America for a year to study in Oklahoma.”

“That sounds… interesting, I guess. Is Oklahoma meteorologically interesting?”

“Oh yeah, it’s like, the heart of Tornado Alley.”

Dan looks at Phil like he’s crazy. “Okay so, your apparent death wish aside, what happens after that? You come back here and live the rest of your life as the TV weatherman for BBC Nottingham or some shit?” God, it sounds even more boring and awful than being a lawyer.

“Well, maybe, but not necessarily. I could do research. Or I could teach.” Phil’s eyes widen at that suggestion. “I think I would really like that, you know? I want other people to be as excited about weather as I am. I want them to see rain showers as more than a mild inconvenience.”

“You obviously don’t have curly hair, because let me tell you, rain is more than a _mild_ inconvenience.” Dan interjects, which earns him an eye roll and a dramatic sigh. Dan smirks triumphantly.

“I like your curly hair, though.”

And then it is Dan’s turn to roll his eyes. “Of course you do. Well, weather expert, do these clouds mean that it’s going to rain today? Do I need to be concerned for my delicate hair?”

Phil looks up at the puffy white clouds overhead. “No, those are cumulous clouds. They can produce small amounts of rain, but not usually.”

“That’s a relief.” Dan says. “Let’s go in the Apple store and play with the webcams,” he suggests.

They take a few photos and upload them to Dan’s dailybooth. Phil mentions that it will be a bit surreal for him to actually be in one of Dan’s dailybooth photos, which makes Dan wonder if Phil might enjoy being in one of his videos even more. Maybe they could film something tomorrow while Dan’s parents are at work.

The Apple employees give them a few warning glares and they decided to leave before they get officially kicked out. Phil doesn't seem like the type that would handle getting banned from the Apple store particularly well.

“Where to next?” Phil asks as they’re walking out.

“Are you hungry, or is it too early for dinner?” Dan asks.

“I could eat,” Phil says. Dan’s not surprised. Phil’s still a teenager, and probably has the metabolism of a young racehorse. “Where are we going for dinner?” Phil asks.

“Somewhere with good drinks,” Dan tells him.

They walk a few blocks to a restaurant called All Bar One. It’s sort of an upscale place with fairly generic food, but a rather extensive drink menu.

“This seems fancy,” Phil says in a concerned tone after they’ve been seated. Admittedly, Phil does look like a bit of a dork walking in with his backpack slung over his shoulder.

“Don’t worry; my treat,” Dan says. He hadn’t planned on buying Phil’s food because he still doesn’t want him to think that this is a date, of course. But he also doesn’t want Phil to feel uncomfortable. And the place looks more expensive than it actually is, so it’ll be fine.

Phil smiles and says, “thanks!”

Dan glances at the drink menu, and sees a few new additions since the last time he was here. There’s a French martini that’s got pineapple vodka in it, and then right below that is something called a Porn Star martini. He doesn’t even have to look at the ingredients to know that that’s what he’ll be ordering.

He looks across the table and sees that Phil is lost somewhere in the wine list. “They have pretty good cocktails here. And spiked milkshakes,” he suggests.

“Ooo, a key lime pie milkshake…”

How American. Maybe Phil will fit right in if he does get to go to Oklahoma for a year.

Dan orders some sort of rice bowl thing that he douses with sriracha. Phil orders a hamburger with avocado on it, which Dan thinks is also rather American of him.

Over the course of the meal Dan learns that Phil has done very little experimenting with alcohol since his 18th birthday. Dan takes this as a mandate to educate him, and orders an amaretto sour and a cosmo for them to share. Phil likes the amaretto, but isn’t so keen on the cosmo, which is no surprise.

They continue to walk around the shopping area after dinner, watching the stars come out. Dan’s trying to kill more time, hoping that they can take a late enough train back to Workingham so that his parents will be asleep by the time they get there. Their inevitable probing questions are the last thing that he has patience for today.

They pause somewhere along the riverbank and lean against the railing, looking out over the water. The street lamps that line the path sparkle amongst the ripples and against Phil’s hair. “Your black hair looks especially good in this lighting,” Dan comments.

Phil blushes, or maybe that’s just the alcohol. “Thanks,” he replies. “I’ve had a really good time tonight.”

“Me too,” Dan says, not really thinking anything of it. And then all of a sudden, Phil is leaning in, clearly aiming to kiss him. And alarm bells go off in Dan’s head, because this is definitely a bad idea. It’s too soon, what with the age difference and the fact that Phil doesn't know where he’s going to be living a few months from now, and most importantly, because Phil met him as one of his fans. This isn’t right, and he has to stop it from happening. He jerks back, which throws Phil off course.

Phil turns away, obviously embarrassed. “Sorry, I…” he mutters.

“It’s okay,” Dan starts. “I know that you’ve probably been getting mixed signals from me. It’s not that I don’t want to, because believe me, I do. It’s just that I don’t want you to rush into something that you’re not fully prepared for.”

“You don’t want _me_ to rush in? Dan, I’m not a child. I know what I’m doing.”

“I know, but…”

“But nothing. I like you. And you obviously like me too. It’s pretty simple.”

Dan sighs. This isn’t an argument that he’s going to win, because really, it doesn't want to. But that doesn’t make him feel any better about it. “Can we agree to take things slow? At least until we know that you’re for sure coming here for uni?”

Phil must see the wisdom in that plan, because he agrees to it.

An awkward silence hangs between them as they walk back to the train station. But by the time they get to Dan’s house, they’re back to giggling about something, and Dan has to remind Phil to be quiet so that they don’t wake up his family.

“Would you want to help me film a video tomorrow?” Dan asks in a whisper, hoping to diffuse the tension.

“Yeah, that sounds great!” Phil says. He seems genuinely excited, which seems like a good sign.

Dan’s mum has already arranged the blow-up mattress for Phil in the guest room/office. Dan shows him where to find the bathroom, and says goodnight.

~

It’s a warm, partly cloudy August day, and a very typical day for most of the world. But for 17 and 18 year olds all across the country, it was one of the most important days of their lives. For Phil, his A level results will not only determine if and where he is going to in a few week’s time, but also what will happen with him and Dan. There’s clearly something between them, there’s no denying that. But they still agree that it would be silly to jump into a relationship without knowing where Phil will be going for uni. But now they are about to find out.

His heart feels like it is trying to escape from his chest as he’s waiting with the other students at his school. He needs an A in both physics and maths in order to meet his firm offer from Reading for the combined master's program with a year in Oklahoma. He feels fairly confident that he’ll have an A in maths, but he’s not sure about physics. A B might not be the end of the world, though, since Reading also has an undergraduate program that only requires B’s. The university might accept him into that course if he misses his firm offer. Phil tells himself that no matter what, he’ll be happy with either of those scenarios because then he’ll be in the same city as Dan.

There’s always his insurance offer from the University of Leeds, of course. But he very much hopes that it doesn’t come to that.

When he finally sees his results, his eyes skip immediately to physics and maths. They’re all that really matters at this point. He gasps with elation at his A* in maths, but then his heart immediately falls when he sees the B in physics.

_No._

His mum is no doubt waiting to hear from him, but his first call is to Dan.   

“How did it go?” Dan asks in lieu of hello.

“I didn’t get in. I got a B in physics.” Phil admits, dejected. “A star in maths, though.”

“Check your UCAS. They still might accept you. Don’t give up just yet.”

“Yeah, I might still be able to go to Reading. But Oklahoma’s out of the question.”

“Not necessarily. They can take you with lower than minimum grades, you know.”

“I know they can, but… this is the top program in the country. They can afford to be selective, you know?” Phil finds an open computer in the library. “I’m checking the website right now.”

“Okay. Do you want me to stay on the phone with you or do you have other calls that you need to make?”

“No, stay.” _Please stay._ _I need you to stay._

“Whatever happens, you did really well. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks,” Phil says impassively.

The page finally loads, and next to the program name it now says ‘Accepted’ where it once said ‘Conditional’.

“Oh my god, it says accepted! I still got in somehow. How is that possible?”

“See, what did I tell you? Oh, and congratulations! I’m really happy for you.”

“I’m going to Reading. And Oklahoma,” Phil says, just trying to make the reality sink in. “I was so sure I’d missed my chance. I was so sure that physics had screwed me.”

“Well, it all worked out in the end. So we need to celebrate properly, in person. And it just so happens that I have two tickets to Reading Festival for us.”

“You _what?_ That’s awesome! Thank you,” Phil remembers to say.

“But we can talk about that later. I’m sure you need to call your family and tell them the good news.”

“Yeah, okay. But thank you for talking me through that.”

“It’s no problem. I’m happy to be first on your panicky speed dial.”

When he steps outside to head home, the world seems a bit brighter somehow. Phil feels so unbelievably lucky knowing that his dreams are coming true. He’s going to Reading. He’s going to Oklahoma. And now there’s nothing standing in the way of jumping into a relationship with Dan.

He feels so lucky to have Dan in his life.

~

Reading Festival has always been special for Dan. He’s gone every year since he was seventeen. There’s just something extraordinary about singing at the top of your lungs surrounded by thousands of people under a cloudy night sky with the music so loud that you can feel the drums beating in your chest. It's a time to let go and truly feel alive. And this year, Dan gets to share it with Phil.

On Friday, they see Placebo and Fall Out Boy, and Dan’s parents don’t even question the fact that he’s invited his new friend to stay for the festival weekend. Late on Saturday night, Dan gets a sudden urge to hug Phil from behind while the Arctic Monkeys are on stage. Maybe it’s the alcohol coursing through his system, or maybe it’s the way that the younger boy looks so inexplicably beautiful in that lighting, but some impulse pushes him to wrap his arms around Phil and say, “let’s go back to mine, yeah?”

Phil smiles and nods enthusiastically, perhaps picking up on the hunger in Dan’s voice.

Their ears are ringing and they’re both still a bit tipsy when they make it back home. Dan’s nervous, and drops his keys twice while trying to unlock the back door. Phil giggles, and Dan reminds him that they have to be quiet and not wake up his family.

They make it upstairs to Dan’s room, and they’re snogging before Dan can get the door closed properly. Phil’s so eager, so pliant, but Dan holds himself back for a moment. “I know we’ve talked about this, but are you sure?” he asks in a whisper.

“Yes, I’m sure. I want you. I want what you want.”

Dan returns to kissing Phil’s neck momentarily, and then adds, “I want to fuck you.”

“God, yes! Please,” Phil begs before fervently reconnecting their mouths.

Items of clothing are hastily removed, and then they’re on Dan’s bed, both wearing just their boxers. Dan’s kneeling between Phil’s legs and kissing his way down his chest. He knows that this is Phil’s first time with a guy, and he wants to take it slow.

“May I?” Dan asks, his fingers hooked under the waistband of Phil’s boxers.

Phil nods and lifts his hips as Dan pulls them away. Dan grasps Phil’s mostly hard cock and slowly moves his hand up and down. He’s surprised by how large Phil is, and he can’t help but imagine what it would be like to ride him. Dan hasn’t bottomed in years, not since his first uni boyfriend, but this unexpected revelation is enough to make him question his convictions on that matter. But the fantasy unfolding in his mind would have to wait for another time. He’d promised to fuck Phil, so that was what he was going to do.

He bends forward and licks at the tip of Phil’s dick before swirling his tongue around the head. Phil moans in response, which is a truly delightful sound.

Dan takes Phil’s cock into his mouth and sucks. He wraps his hand around the base where his lips can’t reach and pumps it in time with his mouth.

“Oh my god, Dan! This is incredible!”

Dan pulls his lips away and continues with his hand. “Have you never had anyone suck your dick before?” he asks.

“Not like this.”

Dan grins. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he says. He kisses Phil’s thigh, then his hip, and then up his chest. “But I wouldn’t want to deter from the main event.” He leans over, reaches for the box under his bed, and retrieves a condom and a small bottle of lube. “Are you still okay with this?” he asks, leaning over Phil.

“Yeah, absolutely.” Phil reaches up behind Dan’s neck to pull him down for another kiss.

“That couldn’t have tasted good considering where my mouth just was,” Dan says with a laugh. Phil only shrugs. “Tell me if you want me to stop at any point,” he adds, crawling back down to kneel between Phil’s legs.

He clicks open the cap of the lube and squirts some onto his index finger. Phil gasps when the cold liquid makes contact with his skin. Dan pushes in slowly until he’s past the ring of muscle. He moves up and down until Phil is loose enough to add a second finger. He scissors his fingers for a bit, then begins searching for Phil’s prostate.

Phil jumps when he finds it, of course.

“I assume since you’ve never had your dick sucked, you’ve never done this, either?”

“Not like this, but I have… myself,” Phil admits.

“Oh, interesting.” He hadn’t thought Phil would be that adventurous when a simple wank would do the job.

Dan stretches him more than is probably necessary, but he wants to be sure that Phil is ready and that he won’t be hurt. He doesn’t want Phil to feel used the way Dan did after his first time with a guy.

“Ready?” Dan asks.

“I think so,” says Phil.

Dan pulls off his own boxer briefs and slicks up his cock. He pushes in slowly, and pauses once he’s bottomed out in order to give Phil time to adjust.

“You can move,” Phil assures him. Once he does, he struggles to keep from moaning too loudly. He searches for the right angle to hit Phil’s prostate just right.

Dan sits back on his heals and leans backward while pulling Phil up with him. He thanks god that his bedframe isn’t particularly creaky. Phil’s arms are around Dan’s shoulders, and he’s moving his hips along with Dan’s thrusts. He moans deliciously, but Dan’s worried that they’re being too loud.

“Shh!” he reminds Phil, moving them back into a horizontal position.

“Sorry,” Phil whispers, clearly out of breath.

Dan starts to move faster, feeling the energy building in his abdomen. Maybe it’s a bit ridiculous, but he wants to make Phil come before he does.

His hand finds Phil’s cock, and it doesn’t take long after that. While Phil tries to catch his breath, Dan pulls out, takes off the condom, and finishes himself off with his hand.

“You didn’t have to stop,” Phil mutters.

“It’s better this way, trust me.” Dan knows that Phil would have been too sensitive, and it wouldn’t have been worth the sentiment.

Dan leaves the room for a moment to throw away the condom and find a towel to clean them up a bit.

“Hey,” he says when he returns and lays down with Phil.

“Hey,” Phil says, falling easily into his arms.

“That was pretty great.”

“Yeah, it was. I’m sorry for being loud. I hope we didn’t wake anyone up.”

“I hope so too. I’m so glad I’m getting my own place soon,” Dan says. He’s moving into a flat in Reading on the first of October. His Youtube income is still steadily increasing, so he can finally afford it. Plus, it’ll make it even easier for him and Phil to see each other whenever they want.

“Hey Dan?” Phil asks in a whisper a few minutes later.

“Hey what?”

“I think… I think I might be in love with you.”

It catches Dan off guard, and he lays there in silence for a moment, simply trying to process what exactly that means. _Did he just say that? Did he say that he’s in love with me? No, he only said that he thinks he_ might _be in love with me. But is that any different, really?_ “You do?” Dan finally manages to ask.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that.” Phil starts to turn away from Dan, but Dan grabs onto his shoulder and refuses to let him.

“It's fine,” he begins.

“No, it's not. I screwed up. It’s way too soon to be saying things like that. And now you must really think that I’m just a dumb kid who doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

“I don’t mind, Phil. If you feel something in a particular moment, then you should be able to say so if you want. It doesn’t mean that you have to feel the same way tomorrow, or even five minutes from now. It doesn’t have to mean anything at all, but that doesn’t mean that it’s any less valid in that moment.” But Phil still looks uncomfortable, or maybe just confused. “Look, just go to sleep, okay? If it makes you feel better, we can pretend that this never happened.”

Phil nods, and sinks back into place with his head tucked against Dan’s chest. Phil falls asleep quickly, but Dan lays awake wondering whether or not he should have lied and said ‘I love you’ back just because it would have been simpler. But he truly believes that it’s better to be honest, even if it creates awkwardness. And he worries, too, because if he’s honest with himself, he knows that it will only be a matter of time before he breaks this beautiful boy’s heart.

~

It’s the end of Phil’s second week of uni by the time he is able to visit Dan’s new flat.

The place is small, only a one bedroom, but it’s modern and comfortable. Phil is quickly roped into helping Dan assemble a flat-pack TV stand and a wardrobe. It isn’t exactly his idea of a fun afternoon, but he should have known that Dan would have procrastinated building at least a few pieces of furniture.They even turn building the wardrobe into a video for Dan’s side channel. It might not be the sort of content that was worthy of being uploaded to danisnotonfire, but Phil thought it was funny.

After their projects are complete, they order in Chinese takeout and watch a movie, which Phil can definitely envision becoming their typical Friday night routine.

“Now what?” Phil asks as the credits roll.

“I thought we could have some fun. Christen the place.” Dan punctuates his sentence with a kiss. “Any ideas?” he asks.

Funnily enough, Phil does have an idea. It’s something that he’s been thinking about ever since their first time back in August. He wants to do something that will make Dan happy to really celebrate his new flat, so it seems like the right time. “I have a sort of… strange request.”

“Phil, are you about to open up to me about your dirty kinks and weird fetishes?” Dan asks in a mocking tone, but looking far too excited.

“Well, you should probably know that I’m inappropriately excited by thunderstorms.” Phil jokes.

Dan laughs. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“But since it’s only partly cloudy at best right now… well, you know how you’re like, really awesome at giving blowjobs?”

“I mean, if you say so,” Dan says in a rather boastful tone.

“I was hoping you could teach me.”

“Oh, that does sound like fun,” Dan says, leaning forward to kiss him again, more deeply this time.

Phil is glad to hear that. He’d been worried that Dan would simply laugh at him and that he’d never hear the end of it.

They continue kissing for a few minutes to get things going. Phil feels himself getting hard, and then Dan pulls away and stands up. “I’ll be right back,” he says. He walks into his bedroom and returns a moment later with a small bottle in hand.

“The only real way to learn is by doing,” Dan says, sitting back down next to Phil. Phil’s breath catches in his throat. He thought that maybe he’d be getting a demonstration before his practice run. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk you through it.”

It’s only mildly reassuring. But Phil supposes that this is only fair, really. He’s received quite a few blowjobs from Dan already, and it’s about time that he get over his nervousness and repay his debt.

“You like cherry, right?” Dan asks, holding out the bottle, which Phil now identifies as flavored lube.

“Why would we need lube for a blowjob?” Phil asks, confused.

“You don’t _need_ it, but it certainly makes the process more enjoyable for the blow-er. It’s also useful for rimjobs, but we’ll leave that for another day. Are you okay with kneeling on the floor or do you want to go into the bedroom?”

The bed seems like the obvious choice at first, being softer on the knees and such, but Phil realizes that it would put him bent over rather awkwardly. He chooses the floor because the carpet feels decently soft, and because Dan’s cheap Ikea couch is fairly low to the ground, giving him a good angle.

Dan unbuttons his jeans and pulls them and his pants off and out of the way while Phil gets himself situated between Dan’s legs.

Phil is immediately confronted with the sight of Dan’s semi-hard cock right in front of his face. He’s seen it before, of course, but never this up close and personal. He tries not to stare, and instead focuses his attention on running his hands up Dan’s thighs.

“Just do whatever you think would feel good to you,” Dan says. “Be persistent, but stop to catch your breath when you need to. Eye contact is super sexy. And be careful of your teeth,” Dan warns.

Phil chuckles under his breath and hopes that no one in the history of humanity has ever been stupid enough to not mind their teeth while having a dick in their mouth.

He carefully grasps Dan’s cock with one hand and flicks open the bottle of lube with the other. Phil squirts out a small amount and begins to pump his fist up and down a few times to spread it out. Hesitantly, he licks at the head, tasting the sticky cherry lube. He swirls his tongue a few times, then places his lips around the tip and gently sucks.

Dan’s definitely hard now, so Phil figures that he can’t be doing too badly. He continues with this pattern for a while, stopping every now and then to breath or to lick up the entire length of Dan’s shaft.

Phil feels Dan’s fingers playing with his hair. He looks up at Dan’s face, remembering what he said about eye contact being hot. Dan lets out a deep sigh, almost verging on a moan. Phil tries to take as much of Dan’s dick into his mouth as possible. He starts to gag, of course, and has to pull off for a moment. He thinks that his failure probably negates the sexiness of the eye contact completely.

“Hey, don’t push yourself too hard,” Dan says. “Deepthroating take lots of practice. You’re doing great.”

Phil nods, and returns his lips to the head of Dan’s cock. He continues licking, sucking, and pumping the base with his hand. He remembers that Dan also said to be persistent, and he tries his best to do so.

After a little while, Dan leans his head back, closes his eyes, and moans. The delicious sound makes Phil hyper-aware that his own dick remains untouched, still trapped in his jeans. He palms himself with his free hand, hoping that Dan won’t notice.

Phil stares back up at Dan, and finds him returning his gaze. “God, your eyes were made for this,” Dan says, slightly out of breath. “Gonna come,” he adds a few moments later. Phil braces for the sticky, sour onslaught, and is determined to swallow no matter how bad it is. He continues to palm himself, and ends up finishing just before Dan does.

Dan groans as he comes, and Phil does manage to swallow the mouthful that he is delivered. Phil attempts to sexily lick some of the excess off of Dan, but ends up wincing at the bitter taste. Dan laughs, which makes Phil feel incredibly embarrassed. “It’s okay, I don’t like the taste either,” Dan admits.

“Was I awful?” Phil asks after moving to sit next to Dan on the couch.

“Obviously not,” Dan says as he pulls his jeans back into place. “More practice won’t hurt, but that was pretty good for a first attempt. Much better than my first time, I’ll tell you that.”

“Thanks,” Phil says sheepishly.

“Now, your turn?” But Phil bits his lip and shifts his eyes. “What, did you come in your pants?” asks Dan. If Phil wasn’t blushing before, he certainly is now. Mercifully, it’s a clear enough answer for Dan. “Sometimes I forget that you’re a teenager. Come on, let’s go get cleaned up.”  

After taking a shower, Phil crawls into bed next to Dan and curls up with his head resting on Dan’s chest. He feels incredibly content in that moment, and can’t help but think that Dan seems happy too, happier than he’s ever seen him. He drifts to sleep thinking that this place feels more like home than his uni hall ever could.

Together, they make it their home.

Phil stays over whenever he can. He studies while Dan edits. They cook dinner together. Dan makes pancakes and bacon on Sunday mornings.

They buy a Christmas tree and decorate it in a video. Dan starts making enough money from Youtube that he’s able to quit his job at Tesco. Phil goes home for summer break, but returns to stay with Dan for long weekends whenever he can.

In his second year of uni, Phil’s classes become more difficult. He spends more and more time in the library, but he always finds time to spend with Dan. Because coming back to Dan means coming home.

~

Dan glances out the window and notices that the clouds have turned a darker shade of gray in the hour or so since he woke up. If it’s going to rain later, he might be able to entice Phil into coming over to film the storm. It’s just past noon on a Saturday, which probably means that Phil is at the library right now studying like responsible, motivated student that he is. But Dan is bored, and wants to take his mind off of the shitty week he’s had, so he texts Phil anyway.

        hey, what are you up 2?

        haven’t seen you in forever

“Forever” being 7 days.

        you should come over

This is Dan’s version of “I miss you”, and he knows that Phil will understand that. They’ve been dating for over a year and a half; Phil is well-versed on Dan language by now.

Phil replies about half an hour later.

        Sure :) There’s a big storm coming in, I’d like to film it.

Dan’s been teaching him about filming and editing. Phil has helped Dan film many of his Youtube videos, and even appeared in a few of the Q&A’s. He’s even started filming some things of his own recently, but nothing like Dan’s vlogs. No, Phil’s been filming the weather, of course. He’s amassed quite a library of various types of clouds, and a few shots of lightning. The idea is that maybe he will use these clips one day as part of educational videos, or maybe as part of his capstone project.

It seems strange to Dan to put so much effort into something that you may never even use. But Phil seems to enjoy it for some reason.

About 20 minutes later, the buzzer goes off, and Dan presses the button to let Phil into the building.

“Hey,” Phil says after walking through the door. Dan’s slumped into his sofa crease, scrolling through twitter on his laptop. Phil drops his backpack against the wall and sits next to him.

“Hey, how was your week?” Dan asks.

“Good. I finally finished that paper this morning.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Phil’s been worrying about this one assignment for almost a month now. It’s something about different ways to measure damage caused by prevailing winds, but Dan wasn’t really paying attention when Phil explained why it was so difficult.

“I want to get the camera set up before it starts raining.”

“Okay. Do you want help?”

“No, I’ve got it,” Phil replies, walking into Dan’s bedroom to retrieve the camera and tripod.

Back in the lounge, Phil cracks open the window just enough to wedge the camera lens into the gap. He covers the camera with plastic and lays a towel on the floor. This is his typical setup for filming storm clouds and lightning. He’s filmed at Dan’s several times, and also from a few buildings on campus.

“So what exactly happened with your family last weekend?” Phil asks while he works. Phil had stayed over last Friday, but then Dan had gone home Saturday evening to have dinner with his parents and grandmother. Not his fun, hip grandmother that loves to travel, but his other super traditional, crazy grandmother. She is the reason that Dan isn’t out to his family, which is also the reason that he and Phil have kept their relationship secret from most of their friends and from Dan’s ever growing group of Youtube fans.

“Ugh, it was awful,” Dan says, closing his laptop and setting it aside. They’d texted briefly about the horrendous family meeting earlier in the week, but Dan didn’t want to talk about it. He still didn’t want to talk about it, but he knows that he has to give Phil something. “There was a lot of asking me when I’m going to get a real job, and also when I’m going to find a nice girl and get married. Shit like that.” Phil hits record, and then comes back to sit next to Dan.

“I’m sorry,” he says, wrapping his arms around Dan’s middle and hugging him from the side.

Dan pulls him closer just as they hear the first clap of thunder off in the distance. The first raindrops patter against the windows shortly thereafter.

“What did your parents say?” Phil asks.

“Nothing really.” Dan’s pretty sure that they know he likes guys. But that probably isn’t as disappointing to them as him getting a law degree and then not becoming a lawyer.

“They didn’t defend you at all?”

“I really don’t want to talk about this, okay?” Dan says. He kisses Phil, hoping that that will keep him from returning to the topic.

But Phil pulls away after a few moments.

“You’re clearly still upset about this, so why won’t you just talk to me about it? Why do you always have to be like this?”

“Like what?” Dan asks, feeling very defensive all of a sudden.

“So… closed off? I come to you when I have a problem, and you help me work it out. Why can’t you do the same? Do you not trust me?”

Dan can’t believe that he’s hearing this. Of course he trusts Phil. He’s just never been as open about his troubles, probably because he hasn’t always had someone to talk to that gave a shit about them. But Phil doesn't understand that. He just thinks that Dan is being an asshole.

“Of course I trust you. That’s not what this is about at all, okay?”

Phil rolls his eyes.

By now, the storm has intensified, and they’ve seen several lightning strikes.

“I haven’t seen you in a week. Can you blame me for wanting to spend time with you?”

“Right, because sex is the solution to all of life’s problems,” Phil mocks.

“I thought you were inappropriately excited by thunderstorms?” Dan grins, but Phil isn’t amused. “Is it really so weird for me to want to make out with my boyfriend that I haven’t seen in a week? But I guess you’d rather spend the afternoon filming a bunch of footage with my equipment that you’re never even going to use!”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, Dan wishes for a way to vanish them from existence before they reach Phil’s ears. He doesn’t even care about Phil using his camera. Why would he bring that up except to hurt Phil’s feelings?

Phil’s face sours as if he’s just now seeing Dan for the asshole that he truly is.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it that way.”

“No, I’m sure you’re just upset about something else that you won’t talk to me about.” Phil narrows his eyes, and Dan knows that he’s just won the argument.

Suddenly, a ball of light drifts across the sky. It is much slower than a bolt of lightning, and appears to be very close to the building. After a few seconds, it bursts.

“Oh my god!” Phil gasps.

“What the hell was that?” Dan asks.

“I’m not really sure, but I think… I think that was ball lightning.”

“What?”

“Ball lightning… it’s this rare phenomenon, or legend, really. Some meteorologists don’t think that it exists, because it’s never been caught on film before,” Phil explains as he’s scrambling over to check the camera.

“Until now?”

“Maybe…” Phil’s eyes are wide, but he’s trying to contain his excitement. He presses a few buttons, but nothing happens. “ _Fuck!_ ” Phil exclaims, which shocks Dan. Phil only swears like that when he really means it. “The battery died. I never checked it when I started the recording.” Phil sounds absolutely dejected, like he’d just failed a task that would have saved the world from certain annihilation.

“Okay, well, let’s swap out the battery and maybe we’ll catch the next one,” Dan offers.

“No,” Phil says sharply. He pulls the camera back and slams the window shut. “There isn’t going to be a next one.”

The storm passes. Phil stays for dinner, but declines to stay the night. “Are you really this upset about the lightning thing?” Dan asks as Phil prepares to leave.

“I’m really disappointed, yes! That footage could have changed… everything.”

Looking back on that day, it’s clear to Dan that it was the beginning of the end. Phil becomes more and more distant. At first, Dan thinks that it’s just because Phil’s busy preparing for finals, but it’s more than that.

“I just feel like we’re moving in different directions,” Phil says one day in June. Phil’s going home to Manchester for the summer, and then he’s leaving for Oklahoma in August, which doesn’t help their motivation to fix things.

They make plans for Dan to come visit for a week in July, but Dan wonders if they’ll make it that far.

Phil calls him out of the blue one afternoon in late June. “I don’t think this is working anymore,” he says.

“I’m sorry,” Dan replies.

“Me too.”

~

It’s strange how living your dreams almost never plays out exactly the way you plan it. Sure, Oklahoma _is_ chasing tornados through farm fields and finding even more people that are as obsessive and passionate about meteorology as Phil is, but it’s also more than that. It’s hours and hours spent in a basement laboratory with only the tiniest of cellar windows way up high near the ceiling. It’s weeks and weeks spent working on a research project that’s so narrow in focus that it’s almost useless except as a line to add to his CV. It’s months and months of dreary, mildly cold winter without even any snow waiting for spring and the return of the storms.

Oklahoma is people looking at him strangely because of his black, emo haircut. And it’s loneliness and longing for the reason he ever died his hair that color in the first place.

Phil turns 21 that January, which gives him the very unusual opportunity to have a second first legal drink.

It’s April now, the start of tornado season. Phil only has two months left in America, but he knows that they’re going to be the best part of his year there.

Professor Hayman had agreed to let Phil help with his probe project, which basically involved finding a tornado, placing heavily reinforced instrumentation probes in its path, and hoping that it somehow actually runs over one of them. It sounds impossible, but apparently one of Dr. Hayman’s colleagues actually achieved a successful probe hit a few years back.

So that’s how Phil finds himself riding through a wheat field in the back of a pickup truck while trying to make sure that the very expensive metal boxes don’t shift around too much.

Clarissa, Professor Hayman’s doctoral student and research assistant, is riding shotgun and keeping an eye on the radar on her laptop. She’s loved Phil ever since he suggested that they get a portable wifi hotspot rather than just piggybacking her laptop off of her phone’s less than reliable signal.

“I don’t know, I really think it’s trending a bit more to the south now,” Clarissa says to Dr. Hayman, who insists that they both call him by his first name, Rick.

“Ask Doug what he thinks,” the professor suggests. Doug has Clarissa’s job on team 2, the other truck that’s about two miles east of their current position.

She’s just about to click on the radio when their truck hits a larger-than-usual bump in the dirt road. Phil scrambles to grab ahold of as many probes as possible, but one of them slides away and slams into the tailgate. “Shit, sorry,” says Professor Hayman.

They only travel a few more hundred feet before it becomes obvious that they now have a flat tire.

“The jack’s on the other truck, too, isn’t it?” Clarissa points out as they’re standing in a semicircle staring at the demolished right rear tire.

“Yup, it sure is,” replies Rick.

“I’ll radio Doug and tell him that they need to get their asses over here,” says Clarissa as she ducks back into the cab.

Phil has absolutely no idea how to change a tire. Desperate to avoid what would undoubtedly be a socially awkward situation, he tries to think of something else of occupy himself with. “Er, this probe at the back took a bit of a bit when we went over the bump. I think I should take a look and see if it’s damaged.”

Dr. Hayman shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly and grabs his DSLR to take some photos of the wall cloud still developing in the distance.

Phil sits on the open tailgate and pulls the probe closer to him. It takes a bit of work to remove the steel cover, the protective barrier that allows the probe to withstand 300 mile an hour winds. The motion of lifting the lid combined with the distant thunder and the nearby clicking of Dr. Hayman’s lens shutter makes the reveal of the apparently undamaged interior unnecessarily dramatic. But it gives Phil an idea.

“Hey… Rick?” Phil asks.

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, nothing came loose, at least not that I can see. I was wondering though, would you mind if I filmed a sort of tour of the inside of one of the probes?”

“Sure, go ahead. They’ve been on the Discovery Channel before, so it’s not like you’d be letting out any secrets.”

“Great, thanks!”

“What’s your video for? A class project?”

“No, nothing like that. I just thought it might make an interesting vlog.”

“A what now?”

Phil should have known better. “I want to make Youtube video about what I’ve been doing here in Oklahoma,” he explains. “To… show my friends back home.”

“Oh, okay. Fine by me,” Dr. Hayman says. It’s then that Phil sees team 2’s truck approaching, which spares him Dr. Hayman’s reply. But he’d gotten permission, which was well worth the embarrassing conversation.

Phil continues to pretend to check on the probes while the others change the tire. By the time they’re finished, it’s determined that they’ve lost their chance with that particular storm. These sorts of missed opportunities were a frequent occurrence in the world of storm chasing, but the promise of Casey’s pizza for dinner was enough to keep everyone’s spirits up. When Phil had first been introduced to Casey’s pizza, he thought that his American friends must be insane to eat pizza from a petrol station. But it’s actually pretty decent. They’d been quick to warn him that his does not apply to other American gas station food.

While team 2 filled their truck with gas, Clarissa and Dr. Hayman went inside to order and wait for the pizzas. This left Phil to sit in their truck and, as always, guard the probes.

Or, he could film a video sat in the back of a pickup truck in a gas station parking lot. It’s not like he has anything better to do right now.

He pulls out his iPhone, but he realizes that he’s not really sure where to start. Dan always says “Hello internet” at the beginning of his videos. He needs something like that. He presses record, hoping that something will just come out.

“Hey guys, I’m Phil and I’m working on a research project here in Oklahoma with one of my meteorology professors, and I thought you might like to see our tornado probes.”

Phil thinks for a moment, and decides that he probably needs to include a bit of background information here.

“The problem with tornadoes is that we kind of have a general idea of how they form and what conditions are necessary for that to happen, but we don’t really understand why some storms that meet those criteria will form a tornado, while others just like it won’t. We also don’t really have good data on what’s happening inside of a tornado, especially not right near the ground. But our tornado probes are hopefully going to change that some day.”

He flips the camera to show the probe in front of him.

“This is one of our probes. His name is Gilbert. This one here is called Bob, and that one is Susan. They don’t actually have names, just numbers. But I think that’s a bit unfair to them given all of the hard work and long hours that we subject them to.”

Phil realizes that he’s rambling and needs to get back to the topic.

“The outer dome is made of steel, which is why it can withstand the extremely high winds that we’re hoping to subject it to. This also makes them incredibly heavy. I couldn’t pick this thing up by myself if I tried.” He lifts the lid up to reveal the interior, which turns out to be a difficult task to accomplish one-handed. He thinks that Dan would probably laugh at him for not bothering to use a tripod. “Inside, there’s some silicon to protect the instruments. And then inside we have the anemometer, which measures wind speed. We can also measure the temperature, atmospheric pressure, and humidity. There’s also a GPS tracker so that we can locate the probe after the storm has passed. Each one basically a miniature weather station inside a box with an armored shell.”

He switches back to the front camera.

“We track tornadoes as they form, and then we try to predict where the tornado so that we can place the probes in its path. The hope is that one day, we’ll be able to intercept a tornado and collect data that would give us a better picture of what’s happening inside the tornado at ground level. It sounds impossible, but one of my professor’s colleagues did achieve an interception with a similar probe a few years ago. We’re hoping to expand on that data set. This process is very difficult and somewhat dangerous, so definitely don’t try this at home. But if you live in this part of America where tornados are common, you probably don’t need me to tell you that.”

And now he needs something to wrap up the video. His arm is starting to get tired from holding the phone out away from his face.

“Leave me a comment below if you have any questions about he probes or about meteorology in general, I can try to answer those too. I plan to make more videos like this in the future, so you can subscribe if you’d like to see those. Thanks for watching, bye!”

If only he had some tornado footage to stick at the beginning. But maybe that could be his next project. He could probably vlog from the back seat the next time they’re chasing a twister through the middle of nowhere, or waiting for a storm to pass so that they can go pick up the probes. He’s not really expecting very many people to watch this video or care about what he has to say, but it feels like a good place to start.

~

Dan is already regretting his decision to sign up for this seminar at the YouTube space in London and the damn thing hasn’t even started yet. He agreed to it because they keep asking him to come to one and also because he can’t use living out of town as an excuse anymore. He moved to London to have better access to collabs and other resources, so really, he might as well take advantage of them.

But once he’s at the place with its squeaky folding chairs, he just wants to go home. He knows a few of the other youtubers there, but not well enough to want to strike up a conversation with them. He glances at the program to assess the horrors that await him. The speakers are talking about privacy protection, engaging your audience, and developing educational programing. Dan decides that he might skip that last one, since educational programing isn’t really applicable to his channel. Unless you consider his Internet Support Group videos to be educational.

He looks over the list again and does a double take. Under the educational programing listing, the subtitle reads: _featuring special guest Phil Lester, aka Amazingphil._

_Fuck._

That motherfucker started his stupid-ass channel with his dumbass weather vloggs in April of last year. He put out a couple of semi-viral videos and had a million subscribers by February 2013, just over 9 months after his first video. Dan, who’s had his channel for six years and worked really hard on it for four fucking years now, just hit a million subscribers in July. More than six months after Phil.

It was so fucking unfair.

Who taught that idiot how to film videos? How to edit them? How YouTube works? Dan did, that’s who.

And really, Dan knows that that’s bullshit. It’s not Phil’s fault that he became so successful so fast. But it doesn’t mean he can’t be bitter about it.

He sits through the first two presentations, which occasionally require him to interact with the other participants. During the break before the third presentation, he’s still considering sneaking out early, but his curiosity keeps him glued to his seat.

Phil walks into the room with some official-looking Google employee, and Dan immediately panics. Phil looks incredible, as always. Dan suddenly decides that he doesn’t want Phil to see him. He wants to melt into the chair or turn invisible, but reality is never so accommodating.

The official-looking dude looks like he’s just about to start talking, so Dan bolts up out of his seat and aims for the door. It probably would have worked, except that he trips over the strap of this woman’s bag that’s under the chair in front of him. He catches himself before he actually falls over, but he drops his complimentary bottle of water in the process. It hits the concrete floor with a loud bang. Of course, everyone in the room turns to look at him.

“Uh, sorry, I just… had a stroke,” is what pops into his head and comes out of his mouth. His natural instinct is to deflect with a joke, but this one falls completely flat. No one laughs. Not a single person. When he sits back down, he realizes that Phil is staring right at him.

And then Phil winks at him. He fucking _winks_ at him like the smug bastard that he is. Phil looks mostly the same, but maybe a bit more mature. His hair is still black, but he’s cut it shorter so that his ears are visible. Phil’s hair is always so perfect; it’s so not fair.

Dan zones out during the first part of the presentation, still too embarrassed to risk making eye contact with anyone. He perks up when the presenter introduces Phil.

“And now for a real-life example of what we’ve been talking about. We have Phil with us today, and he’s going to tell us a bit about his recent success with his educational weather vloggs. Phil, what motivated you to start making your videos?”

“Well, I wanted to find a way to make what I was studying in my meteorology program more accessible to a wider audience. I’d been watching YouTubers for years, so I knew about vlogging and how people were building communities on YouTube. I wanted to build a small community of viewers that were interested in weather like I am.”

“But that’s not exactly how it worked out, correct?”

Phil laughs sheepishly. “No, I ended up with a bit more than a small community.”

“Do in large part to a few viral videos.”

“I don’t know if I would call my first video viral, exactly. I reached 100,000 views in about a month, which was certainly more than I ever anticipated. The second video, the one that included footage of a tornado, that one went viral.”

“Ah, yes, I believe we have a clip of that to show.”

The projector flickers, and a darkly lit video begins to play. It’s clearly been filmed out of the window of a moving car. A tornado is just barely visible in the background. From behind the camera Phil describes the scene, using his best David Attenborough impression.

_“Here we see the majestic tornado in its natural habitat, traversing the plains of Oklahoma. It is accompanied, as usual, by a substantial amount of wind and hail…”_

The clip ends after a few seconds of Phil attempting to zoom in on the tornado overlaid with dramatic music.

“That’s a very interesting video. Your reaction to seeing the tornado is fantastic, I must say. What’s more interesting, perhaps, are the comments on that video. When I checked a few days ago, there were still a large number of them that were focused on your accent instead of the tornado.”

A few members of the audience laugh, but most everyone else does not, including Phil. Dan understands that Mr. Google employee is only trying to lighten the mood, but he doesn’t seem to be playing well to his audience of British vloggers.

“Just another example of the unpredictability of this industry, I guess,” Phil says with a shrug of his shoulders.

“What would you say is the most rewarding part of making educational videos?”

“Interacting with the people that watch my videos. Their curiosity reminds me of why I chose to study meteorology in the first place.” Phil’s sincere love for what he does is apparent. It’s the sort of thing that makes little old ladies describe a person as ‘such a nice young man’. It makes Dan want to vomit.

“Aside from such sentimental benefits, your videos have also brought you professional advancements, correct?”

“Yes, I completed my master’s degree in June, and I was offered a position with the National Meteorological Service starting the first of September.”

“And will that be the end of YouTube for you?”

“No, not at all. They’ve hired me to help with their social media presence as well as their educational programing. I will continue to make videos as part of my duties. The only difference will be that I’ll actually have a budget dedicated to making them, which will greatly increase the production quality, I’m sure.”

That sounds like Phil’s dream job. But at the same time, Dan hopes that he was smart enough to not sign over the rights to his channel and its ad revenue to this company.

“That sounds like a very exciting opportunity. I look forward to seeing what you do with this new position. And do you have any pearls of wisdom do you have to pass on to our seminar attendees today?”

Phil pauses for a moment. This is clearly all scripted, or at least pre-rehearsed, but he at least tries to give the illusion that he’s putting some thought into what he’s about to say.

“You’re all experts at something. You wouldn’t be in this room otherwise. You all have skills and knowledge that you can share, whether that be something related to your pre-YouTube career or something that you’re doing now, like comedy or acting. At the very least, you know how to film and edit videos. I’m sure we all get questions about that every day. So no matter what it is, you have something educational that you can share with your audience. These topics might become an integral part of your channel or a side channel or maybe just a one-time video. But whatever that might be, I encourage you to think about sharing your talents with your audience.”

“Well said. Thank you for joining us this afternoon, Phil.”

The audience claps, and Dan claps along with them to avoid seeming like an asshole. Phil leaves the front of the room and walks over and sits down right next to Dan.

Mr. official-looking dude moves on to a different topic, but Dan’s not paying any attention. He’s hyperaware of his every breath and his increasing heart rate, and he doesn’t dare to look over at Phil. There’s no escaping that they’re going to end up talking after this is over. Dan’s not sure if Phil’s intending to expound the fact that Phil’s clearly better off without him, or if maybe he’s trying to be polite and speak to him just for old time’s sake.

The presentation ends, and everyone claps once more.

Phil opens with “I hear you’re living in London now.”

“Yeah, I am,” he replies. But Phil would know that just from following him on twitter. It’s not like he’s necessarily been keeping tabs on him. “And you’ve graduated and even found yourself a real job.”

“Yeah. I mean, it’s not what most meteorologists would call a real job, but it’s kind of perfect for me. I wouldn’t settle for anything less, thanks to you.” His tone is appreciative rather than accusatory, which helps Dan to back out of defensive mode. Phil’s come over to be friendly and catch up, not to argue. How very Phil.

“Well, I’m glad I influenced you in some sort of positive way.”

“Of course you did. None of this would have happened for me if it weren’t for you. I owe you a huge debt.”

How could Dan begrudge him his success when he openly acknowledged that Dan had greatly contributed to it?

“Phil, you don’t owe me anything. Especially not after the way things ended.”

“It’s not like that was entirely your fault, you know.” Phil argues. Dan rolls his eyes. “Will you at least let me buy you a coffee? And then maybe we can catch up a bit?”

Dan doesn’t have any plans for the rest of the day, so he agrees.

Coffee and a chat turn into dinner the next day, which leads to Phil coming back to Dan’s flat with him under the pretext of having a glass of wine. Dan had forgotten just how amicable they could be at times, talking about nothing and everything at the same time.

They each have two or three glasses of wine before they get truly sentimental.

“I’ve missed you, you know?” Phil says. He’s sitting sideways on the couch with his elbow propped up on the back, his face leaning against his fist. “When I was in Oklahoma, I missed everyone from home, of course, but I missed you most. I think part of me wanted to pick up a camera again just to feel close to you.”

“I missed you too. I probably wouldn’t have admitted that before today, but I did.” Dan replies. “But, you’ve been back in England for over a year, right? If you wanted to talk or whatever, why did you wait until now?”

“I was busy finishing my master’s thesis and trying to keep my channel going. And I wasn’t sure how you would react to my channel and the fact that it took off so quickly,” Phil adds nervously.

Dan sighs. “To be honest, I didn’t take it well at first,” he admits. “It’s really not fair, you know?”

Phil smiles. “No, I know it’s not. But life’s not exactly fair, is it?”

“No, it’s not.” Dan admits.

“Do you think that things would be different if we had met under different circumstances? Like, maybe if we hadn’t met until now?” Phil asks.

“Everything would be different, wouldn’t it? We would be entirely different people.”

“Would we, though? Sometimes I feel that I would fall in love with you no matter what the circumstances,” Phil says, staring down into his wine glass.

“Phil…” Dan can see where this is going, but it seems incredible hasty.

“No, listen to me for a second, okay? We had our problems before and we both know that. But I really think that things could be different now.” Dan doesn’t know what to say to that. Sure, things could be different. But this could just as easily be disaster all over again. “Look, I know that this is sudden, and that we obviously shouldn’t rush into anything serious. But I also know that I want you.”

And if that doesn’t go straight to his dick.

Dan leans forward and brushes Phil’s fringe away from his face. Phil leans forward quickly, capturing Dan’s lips with his own. Clearly there will be no taking things slow this time, and Dan has already resigned himself to that.

Phil wants for them to get back together, that much is apparent. Dan isn’t convinced that that is the best idea, but he feels that he would be insane to pass up the opportunity to relive some of the best sex of his life.

The next morning, Dan wakes up with his head resting against Phil’s chest and their legs tangled together. He carefully extracts himself from the situation, but barely has time to make coffee before Phil follows him into the kitchen.

“Good morning,” Phil says.

“Morning,” Dan replies, “Coffee?” he offers.

Phil nods, and sits at the breakfast bar. Dan sits down next to him.

“Can I confess something?” Phil asks after a few minutes of silence. Dan stares at him for a moment, then nods, because what the hell else is he supposed to do. “I knew that you were going to be at the thing yesterday.”

“You did?”

“Yeah. When they first asked me to do it, I was hesitant. And they mentioned that you had registered, I think because they thought I might not want to see you. I mean, I know we were never public about our relationship, but it was pretty obvious when we broke up, wasn’t it?” Of course it was. Dan was the one who had to read about it in the comments of every video he posts still to this day. “But anyway, when I found out that you would be there, I knew that I had to do it. I had to see you again.”

“You could have just called or something. I haven’t changed my number.”

“I could have, but… it needed to be in person.”

“So that you could be all dramatic about it?”

“No, so that you couldn’t just ignore me.” That is a low blow, but Dan knows that he deserves it. He’s notorious for not responding to emails and text messages. And truthfully, he probably would have been so baffled by any contact from Phil that he would have spent days trying to craft a reply and ultimately given up.

“You know me too well.”

“I feel like you’ve changed quite a bit, though,” Phil says, “in your more recent videos, you seem much happier.”

Phil’s probably right. Money isn’t everything, but finding financial stability has been a huge weight off of his shoulders. And moving a bit further away from his parents didn’t hurt either.

“I am, I guess.” Dan wonders if Phil is alluding to how Dan let his emotional problems become a strain on their relationship. He’s doing better now, sure, but he’s still the same incredible flawed person. He doesn’t want Phil to think that because he career has taken off that he’s been magically fixed somehow. “I’m still the same fucked up person, though.”

“You’re not fucked up, Dan.”

“You know what I mean,” Dan retorts.

“Look, maybe you’re right. Maybe we would be a disaster again, I don’t know. But I still love you. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you.”

Dan knows that he’s being sincere, and damn it if it doesn't make him want to believe in love again. How could he be so heartless as to not even give it a second chance?

“So what do you say? Can we try again?” Phil asks.

“Yeah, okay.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! 
> 
> You can find me on tumblr at [wallflowerchronicles](http://wallflowerchronicles.tumblr.com/).


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